Leonardo DiCaprio’s Filmography So Far
I’m in love with this gif. Everything about it. The rain drizzling. The candle flickering. The colors. I love it.
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
Officer: Don’t have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman: I can’t do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The first officer is stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Woman: Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.
that was a wild ride
being alone with your friends parents
A lot of dudes think women dress slutty for them, but honestly if men weren’t such fucking animals I would dress 300000% more slutty then I do now. You people ruin everything.
I wanna wear this shit outside god damn it.
Oh my god SO TRUE. I would constantly wear thigh highs and short skirts and underbust corsets because I look so fucking good. God forbid women like their OWN bodies, too.
For real !! like 90 % of my fucking wardrobe now is just for cam cause it’s too sexy to wear in public. Fucking bullshit. I use to wear thigh highs with garters with shorts a lot but I got sooo many comments. Fucking… people. You literally just saw the tops of my thighs. But all the dudes are like ‘Why wear that if you don’t want attention???’ cause i look fine as hell and I don’t give a shit about some fucking random broke ass dudes on the corner.
I can’t even express how much this describes my feelings. Bitch I wear my corsets and my fishnets and my heels the size you wish your dick was because they make me feel fucking fabulous, not because I want you to tell me how much you’d like to “smash” me.
Heels the size you wish your dick was.